skywolf666

Yup. That's right. I am coming back. I have no idea what inspired me to finally return to this very dust-collected account, but, I figured since I frequent it so often just to hunt for fanart, I may as well get my ass back in gear and start spamming my fics. I have written a lot since I "semi-retired" here, and I want to just upload most of the fics that have made it onto FF.N here, just in case someone out there would like to see it. At the moment, I'm probably going to upload all of my oneshots, and depending how that goes, and if I can find some nice FE:A groups to get active in... I may even throw "A Third Journey" here, and see how that goes. Time will tell, I suppose, but until then, just look forward to seeing my FE:A stuff appear!

It's surprising how little I actually post on DA, yet frequently hang around it. I'm not really dead, I just... have little reason to be on a website that doesn't entirely function well with my particular medium of art. It's kind of sad literature doesn't get so much love here... Sigh. Oh well, I suppose I just gotta roll with it and post my journals as infrequently as I do, since I have nowhere else really to rant at. -snort-

My personal life, as usual, is full of ups and downs. I'm currently on vacation, almost been out of the city for a week, and then next week I'm heading home. I'll probably end up coming back sometime around March, since I sincerely want to spend as much time as physically possible out of my own hometown... It's depressing that I think that way, but... Well, what can ya do? I'm enjoying my vacation up near the real big city, with my mother-surrogate and her family, and I'm considering relocating somewhere close by within the next year. Maybe, at any rate. -chuckle-

Professionally... Well, I'm going in and out of writer's block, and working mostly on my fanfiction when I get the chance... I love writing me FE:A work. It's fun. And, with the union of my new best friend, , I'm having a renewed love-affair with that particular Fire Emblem game. 8D Seriously, this girl has the ability to do amazing work, and I'm so jealous of her artistic talent that it's probably criminal. She recently did an AT with me, a fic for a picture, and I proceeded to go for hours upon seeing her finished half... This girl needs more love, so please check her out!

Short update, but I'm alive and okay, and... I want hugs. :3

-stands up on her soapbox- If you do not wish to see a rant... You may go. For those who are just interested in what's been going on and a nonsensical wall of text... PLEASE TAKE A SEAT. 8D

So, at the moment, I have no patience for anyone who even so much as glances at me wrong, and I'm rather sure I've been pissing people off to no end with that attitude. However, I'm in the mindframe where I just want a shirt with this printed on it: s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/4db… so I can walk around just daring people to try and make me care. :3 It's been a very long and trying few weeks for me, and I have recently decided that the phrase, "No good deed goes unpunished." now should be my motto. -sigh- It's tiring to keep on sticking my neck out for ungrateful people, and it's really become a challenge to continue caring when those involved clearly don't have the capacity to. I've also come to the conclusion that those I am related to are now genetically inclined to break the law, and why this genetic condition has skipped me has led me to wonder if perhaps I am adopted. If so, I will throw a never-ending party, and everybody I know is invited. I loathe almost 90% of my genetic relations.

As someone who is on social assistance, I am the first (and usually quite quickly) to admit that the system is seriously and horribly flawed. However, again, as someone on social assistance, I am grateful that I can use the system to keep me both off the streets, in school, and fed. And, whether or not it's because of my inclination to find work in the field of law, I have a healthy, if somewhat exasperated, respect for said law. Loopholes exist, and the system may be flawed, but I do all I can to live within my limits, and legally. My family, unfortunately, do not share this moral compass. Today, after doing much to help someone close to me, and risking almost everything I've struggled to gain in my two-plus years of being on my own in the process, I discovered that apparently sticking my neck out for said person will probably blow up in my face. And rather spectacularly, at that. It's not only a personal disappointment, but a rather stark realization that it may be time to just start systematically cutting my roots, one painful snip at a time.

It isn't a decision I make lightly, but, in recent years, I have been urged by worried friends and even therapists, that keeping poisonous relationships going simply is sapping my strength and sanity. The main problem is that said poisonous relationships are all from my family. I haven't spoken to my biological mother is over a year due to finding out she committed fraud (five thousand dollars and counting), have trouble depending on a father who acts like a thirteen year old boy, have separated from one sister due to her sociopathic tendencies, another for her drug use, the other because of her abivalence towards everything else going on in life. Now it seems my fourth and youngest sibling will be the final and last for me to cut out of my life, due to her irritating tendency to make a decision and extremely turn about and reverse said decision. While it's an annoying character trait in general, this trait has come to bite me hard in the ass.

I have looked back lately and wondered: Perhaps it's me. And, unfortunately, that may be true. I have low tolerance for idiocy in many forms, and even family is not immune to this. The saying "Blood is thicker than water" has never really applied to me. Mostly because, as far as I am concerned, blood is simply another liquid, and family is something you create and keep, not just something you are born into. While I give you that this isn't a sentiment held by many... When I'm already fighting to stay sane and to keep myself afloat, adding on other's issues that I have attempted time and time again to help resolve only to realize no one really cares about my input... it's hard to keep moving forward.

For my own sake, I'm having a difficult time thinking of any other options. I have found a maternal figure in my ex's mother, (and I treat her as my mother in all ways save one, I do not call her by any maternal term), and even she is beginning to urge me to run for higher ground. I'm not entirely sure I have the energy to stay and keep fighting. Sometimes it seems flight is the only way to survive.

-steps off of her soapbox and sighs- Sorry guys, I know you probably don't care about my issues, but it feels so much better to just let it out. So, I will now switch to my last topic. Higurashi No Naku No Koro Ni: Kaku! Okay, I was so pumped for Kaku when I first heard about it, and when I heard it had finally been released and then subbed... I all but flipped my everloving lid. Now, after sitting down and watching it through... These are my thoughts, listed in order of relevance from plot, characters, music, and overall impression. SPOILERS AHOY!

Plot (Scored: 2.5/5): I always wondered what the global consequence of Hinamizawa syndrome could become, and Kaku slammed the idea of a cynical outlook pretty damn hard into your face. Riots, in-fighting, paranoia and... well, lots of death. This isn't very surprising, and I thought it played out rather realistically as the government, (and the mysterious Alphabet project) trying to use the syndrome as their own biological weapon rather than something they should be curing. Of course, as it continued on and tried to focus on both the club's efforts to save Satoko while flashing back to Takano (SERIOUSLY, OMG, HELLO GRANDPA TAKANO!?) explaining that NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF THE WORLD IS INFECTED WITH THIS PARASITIC DISEASE kind of... well, ruined things for me. While it was an interesting take, I really didn't like the idea of blaming humanity's general history of bigotry on a mind-melding parasite. It was very difficult to swallow. Has the OVA stuck to the containment of Hinamizawa, and the reaction of the world deciding to deal with said residents and said syndrome... I think I would have been able to accept it a little more easily. Of course, with most of what went down in Kaku, (including Hanyuu's random decision to just gtfo, Rika remaining behind, Rena and Keiichi becoming super soldiers)... it's kind of just... a big departure from what I was used to in Higurashi. The nostalgia factor brought the rating up, but the plot made me shake my head frequently, so I had to rate it at a dead even.

Music (Scored: 4/5): Oh lord, please, that soundtrack! The ending song just brought back all of the feels, and several scenes where the haunting but gorgeous vocals were going... Enough to bring goosebumps. Higurashi always had some amazing music swimming around, and the OVA did not disappoint with the usage of it. Even though the plot had me going "lulwut" the music kept it going, and I thoroughly loved the sound.

Characters (Scored: 1/5): Okay, seriously, where is my Higurashi cast and what the hell have you done to them? Putting aside the fact that Shion was just mysteriously absent, (and we all know Shion would have torn every single idiot who was holding Satoko hostage a new asshole while saving her), I'm not honestly sure what everyone was doing or why. The main lesson in Higurashi and Kai was that killing was bad, and both Rena and Keiichi in particular suffered horribly in the second season due to their breaks from reality and their particular killing sprees. While Rena had a rather great excuse going on with her father having just been killed, Keiichi... did not. And I'll also admit it was great to see Rena back in Yandere mode with that cleaver... I can't say that most of their actions were plausible. I was a bit disappointed with Mion, as I can't imagine her ever be willing to sit things out, shot or not. And considering Rena was shot and just kept going... Well, it didn't make me happy. (Granted, I'm a huge Mion fan, so I'm biased.) I really just see Mion refusing to sit out of a good fight even if the poor girl has her arms chopped off... And I'm not going to talk about Irie swallowing a gun, or Rika just sitting there like: "Well... Okay."

Overall (Scored 2/5): Can't say I enjoyed it, but I can't exactly say that I hated it. It was great seeing Higurashi in action again, but... but... It just didn't... It's hard to explain. The characters didn't seem to be the characters I was used to, and the plot didn't make as much sense as I wanted it to, either. It was awesome seeing new Higurashi stuff, and the music brought back much nostalgia, but... I just couldn't get into it the way I wanted to. It was sort of a let down.

And I leave you with a small script I chucked at :iconkrissehpoo2: while we were texting about Kaku, and what I thought would have been amusing to actually see.

Mion: -no arms- LET'S KEEP GOING AND GET SATOKO ALREADY.
Keiichi: Look at you, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!
Mion: Yes, I have!
Keiichi: LOOK!
Mion: It's just a flesh wound! LET'S GO.
Shion: ... Yeah, so, while you guys were arguing... I just went and got Satoko.
Satoko: Nee-nee is scary. :3
Rena: Welp... that was pointless.
Rika: Yeah...
Irie: BOOM, HEADSHOT.

... Wow, that could have been seen as a badly hidden sexual euphemism. Oh well, I like the title. Anyway, just a little reminder that I'm not dead. I feel like I am, but honestly, I'm NOT! (How often do I say I'm alive? Hmm...)

My old laptop is dead. Six years of a good, working relationship, but alas... It finally went "poof" on me. I think it was an issue with the hard-drive. Still, considering I used it for six long years, I think it deserved to go. I have a weird thing with electronics. Most of my technology tends to last me well beyond it's warranty date. My MP3 player, for example, lasted me well over six years, and a head-on collision with a 4x4 pickup truck. I cannot even begin to tell you how much shit I went through with that little thing... It was seriously a survivor. I reset it to factory defaults more times than I can count, but it DID keep working. I finally had to retire it two years ago, but not because it didn't work anymore, but because the scrolling piece on the machine was loose and made it difficult to navigate my songlist. I'm actually pretty sure I could still use it if I wanted to... Anywhosit, I have a new laptop (courtesy of my dad! THANK YOU, DADDY!), and while summer is ending, I'm intending on pulling myself out of the hole that life has become and once more rejoining the world of the online. It's goddamn lonely living in my apartment and not contacting anybody, okay?! (Doesn't help that my cats are lousy company most of the time. They just stare at me. It's a little scary.)

Anyway, I've been writing as always, just plugging away at my fanfiction... It's going well, too. :3 Of course, Fire Emblem: Awakening currently runs my life. I can't stop gaming... and since I can't stop gaming, I also can't stop writing. IT'S AWESOME, OKAY?! ChromxAvatar is so cute, and I can't get over TikixAvatar either. I once got asked who I shipped more... Can't tell you. It depends on my current mood, really. Right now, I'm leaning towards ChromxAvatar, mostly because I've seen so much amazing fanart of them and it's gotten me into that mood. I'll probably go home soon, (I'z at the library, again...) and write a little oneshot for them while working away on my multichapter TikixAvatar fic. Not sure what the oneshot shall entail. Maybe some parental fun. I mean, with kids like Lucina and Morgan, you have to imagine they have one hell of a time keeping their kids sane. Lucina's the type to work herself into the ground, and Morgan is a threat to himself on any normal day... I like imagining funny/weird scenarios. For example, my last fanfiction with them entailed Chrom having to explain to the Avatar why he wants to disown his children for throwing a fit over a cockroach. -grins- I loved that support... I should write more sibling fun for Morgan and Lucina.

Topic change, lol, but going to the library sometimes scares me. I mean, I owe them money from some overdue books... but I don't take out books, (because of the charge, lol) but I do come here to use the wifi. (Because everybody in my apartment building has gotten wise to the female leech who hops onto any unsecured wifi broadcast... Heh.) I have this paranoid thought that they'll come over to me one day while I'm typing away and be like, "Are you (insert real name here)?" And I'll need a change of pants as I say nervously, "Y-Yup..." Then they'll promptly boot me out of the library for daring to use their wifi while I owe them money on the books... Can that really happen? It probably could...

So, just finished a downloading spree of doujins, (and one song), and soon I'm going to go home and stuff myself with dinner, because I'm starving. Got my cheque today, so tomorrow I'll be going downtown to cash it, get my bus pass, and then go shopping for groceries... I have need of food. Lots of food. And hey, my birthday is coming soon. I don't think it's much of a thing to celebrate, but... Well, most people tend to say, "CELEBRATE, DAMN IT" and said people scare me into submission, so I have no choice but to celebrate... Seriously, you can scare me to do most shit in life, I think... and if scaring me doesn't work, guilting me usually does. Like I once told a good friend, "I'm a guilt-based life-form, okay?!"

Anywhosit, that's really all I have to say right now. I'll post another journal on my b-day with a more in-length update on life and shit. And there's probably a poem waiting to be released for that time, too... So, until then, have a good one, guys!

Sky, signing off!